A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!”
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you know what the Bible means?
The son replied, "I do know!” "Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?”
"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly. "It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.”
********
There was a very gracious lady who went to the Post Office to mail an old family Bible to her brother who lived in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?” asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
********
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So, he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block ten times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. “Forgive us our trespasses.”
When he returned, he found a citation on his windshield from a police officer, along with this note: "I've circled this block for ten years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
********
One Sunday morning the pastor made an announcement from the pulpit to his congregation: "I have good news, and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is…it's still out there in your pockets.”
********
A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?”
A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said a kindergarten boy.
"Really? How do you know that?" the teacher asked.
"You know — Our Father, who does art in Heaven…"
********
A man is talking to God, and says, “God, how long is a million years?”
God answers, “To me, it’s about a minute.”
The man asks, “God, how much is a million dollars?”
God answers, “To me, it’s a penny.”
The man then asks, “God, may I have a penny?”
God answers, “Wait a minute.”
********
A minister was in line to have an attendant fill his car with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
"Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.”
The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean….it's the same in my business!”
********
What is the best way to get to Paradise?
Turn right and go straight!
********
One Sunday a minister was preoccupied with thoughts about how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.
He was somewhat annoyed to find that the organist had called in “sick”, and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.
"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.”
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs will cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more to complete the repair. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist began to play "The Star Spangled Banner!”
And, that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
********
“Laughter is the most beautiful and beneficial therapy God ever granted humanity.” - Chuck Swindoll
Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. - Mother Teresa
Today is a new day, make the most of it, tell someone you love them, smile at someone, give a hug, hold a hand, or just listen for a minute, and be a friend. - Unknown
********
For the despondent, every day brings trouble; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast. Proverbs 15:15 NLT
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 ESV
A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:4 NLT
*******************************************
If you liked this story and would like a copy of either of my books,
they are available on Amazon in both paperback and Kindle format:
If you have a story or testimony that you think might bless others,
I invite you to send it by email to me (Kenneth Kersey) at godsotherways@me.com.
*******************************************