We don’t know the original source of these quips, but wanted to share them with our readers. There is a saying “out of the mouths of babes”… and these eight short witticisms are certainly that. Hopefully they will put a smile on your face for their humor, but also help you appreciate that the life God has given us can have its humorous side along with lessons to be learned. 

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# 1  A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

# 2  A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

# 3  A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy, the oldest of a family, answered, "Thou shalt not kill."

#4  One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

#5  The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael; he's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

#6  A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

#7  The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. One of the nuns made a note and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching.”  Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

#8  A mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang, so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she said on the phone, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle.”

- Authors unknown

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Often laughter is presented in Scripture as good-humored and friendly, to encourage others:

"This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24 NLT

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.  Proverbs 17:22 NLT

Joyful indeed are those whose God is the Lord.  Psalm 144:15b

For the despondent, every day brings trouble; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast. Proverbs 15:15 NLT                                                                    

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If you liked this story and would like a copy of either of my books,
they are available on Amazon in both paperback and Kindle format:

If you have a story or testimony that you think might bless others,
I invite you to send it by email to me (Kenneth Kersey) at godsotherways@me.com.

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