LOST KEYS

After a meeting several days ago, I couldn't find my keys. I quickly gave myself a personal "TSA pat-down.”

They weren't in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition. He's afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all—to my husband: "I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen.”

There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice. "Are you kidding me?" he barked, "I dropped you off!”

Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, can you come and get me?”

He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your car!”

########

MARRIAGE IS SHARING

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries, and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering. Obviously they were thinking, “That poor old couple—all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.”

As the man began to eat his fries, a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine—they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said “No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.”

Finally, the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin. The young man again came over to the little old lady, who had yet to eat a single bite of food, and asked “What is it you are waiting for?”

She answered, “The teeth.”

########

THE SLOWPOKE…?

Sitting on the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car puttering along at 22 mph.

He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns his lights on and pulls the car over.

Approaching the car, he notices there are five elderly ladies, two in the front and three in the back, wide-eyed and looking like ghosts.

The driver obviously confused said, "Officer, I don't understand, I wasn't doing over the speed limit!, What seems to be the problem?”

"Ma'am," the officer said, "you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous”.

"Slower than the speed limit? NO SIR! I was doing exactly 22 miles an hour", the old woman said proudly.

The officer containing a chuckle explains that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned, thanking the officer for pointing out her error.

"Before I go Ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone OK? These women seem badly shaken and haven't uttered a word all this time.”

"Oh! they will be alright in a minute, Officer…we just got off Route 142.”

- Authors Unknown

########

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. Proverbs 17:22 NLT

For the despondent, every day brings trouble; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast. Proverbs 15:15 NLT

Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises. James 5:13 NLT

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13